Before this, before all of this...when I was caring for people with cancer (as a healthy person) sometimes I did not actually get it. By that I mean, I would empathetically listen to patients and understand their concerns and trials but then, full on, not get it.
I struggled with appetite. For me, this is disturbing. To understand me is to understand my love for food. Since birth - love to eat. Now with zero drive to consume anything, parts of me are disappearing. So when I had an urge to eat, Kraft Dinner of all things, I went for it. Well, I married a PhD Nutrition guru - we don't eat KD. period. Sooo 3 hours later I suffered some of the worse gut wrenching, intestine twisting, cramping I have ever experienced.
Before, I would roll my eyes and say, don't eat KD when you go through chemo. Duh. It's going to make you feel sick!! I get it now. You eat KD because you are happy you want to eat and you can eat. Holding on to your disappearing self.