My last cycle of chemo was a bit different from the rest. I typically receive chemo each day Monday to Friday every 3 weeks. This past Monday was a holiday here so the Cancer Centre was closed. I was left with two options: be admitted to hospital to receive Monday's treatment 2) Condense 5 days worth of chemo into 4 days. In reality, the first 'option' wasn't truly an option because I was pretty much told out right that I wouldn't get a bed because the hospital was over capacity. So I settled into receive the same amount of chemo over a shorter time frame.
It was awful. The fatigue was a little less than previous cycles but the nausea was worse and mentally it really got me down. Just today, some of the pain and nausea has broke. It's been the most difficult cycle without a doubt.
Through this process, I have long since realized that emotions are just emotions. There are times when it feels good to cry and let go and it doesn't have to mean anything (e.g. depression, Amy's loosing her mind), it just means to feel and honor the moment life has placed you in.