Mother’s Day is tough for so, so many of us. Maybe your mother has passed. Maybe you have a strained relationship. Maybe you don’t know your mother. Or maybe, as with a lot of young cancer survivors, you are struggling with fertility. In a world overrun by social media and selfies at brunch, the pain you feel on Mother’s Day is echoed back at you for a full 24 hours this Sunday. It’s tough.
What’s different about young, female cancer survivors, is that fertility becomes this big, red question mark constantly hanging over your head. Grateful to be alive but what about actually living out the rest of your life. For me, this meant growing old with my husband and being able to do all those “normal” and wonderful things that life offers (e.g. bringing Maximilian into the world).
There’s no doubt that having children drastically changes your life. If your fertility is impacted because you need a hysterectomy or you receive chemotherapy, your life might be saved but it is forever altered.
Many healthy women make the choice to not have children and I think that is great! Life is good without children and life is good with children. The difference with young, cancer survivors is that the CHOICE is taken away. That is what makes this day extra challenging. You are forced to spend 24 hours reminded how everyone else has something you want.
But I’m celebrating anyways. It’s not really the day that sucks, it’s social media’s explosion of the day. The day itself is intended to celebrate a group of women we love and admire. Life is short – we need to tell those we love how we feel (today is a good reminder). Life is short – celebrate everything you can. Happy Mother’s Day.